Written by Lalu Mokuku and illustrated by Rebecca Potterton (Jacana Media)
Age 5-9
Butterfly Heart is a beautifully tender story of a young friendship between two young girls and the grief and healing that follows when one falls ill and passes away.
Neo and Mosa are best friends who share everything, from skipping games to special heart-shaped stones that signify their close bond. Sometimes when they play, Mosa has to slow down as her heart feels like it’s thumping too much. “My heart is a pump,’ she says, and the girls both feel their hearts beating as they skip. Another day she says her heart is fluttering like a butterfly.
Then one day, Mosa’s heart begins to slow, and she can’t come out to play. Neo’s grandmother, Nkgono, explains that she must be patient while Mosa is in hospital. Neo is sad and draws pictures of the two friends with butterflies all around them. She misses her friend.
But Mosa doesn’t get better and the heartbreaking words:
‘Mosa doesn’t come home again’ break the news of Mosa’s passing.
This moment of the news of Mosa’s death is writen with great sensitivity and feeling.
(Mosa’s) mother visits Neo and Nkgono
with very sad news. Mosa’s heart has
stopped beating.
“Mosa asked me to tell you she’s sorry
she can’t come play with you anymore. But
she wants you to remember that she is
still your friend forever.’
Earlier in the story, Neo’s mama has explained that hearts are ‘our bodies engines.’ In this way, Neo can understand that Mosa’s engine has stopped.
The word death is not used, instead:
Nkgono sighs, Mosa has passed away.
How to talk about death
This gentle way of introducing death helps children to come to terms with it. Opinions on whether to use the word death, dying and dead vary. Some psychologists suggest it is better to use the words and make everything very factual and clear. I think it is up to each family. Perhaps you can read the book with your child and say something like: ‘It is sad, Mosa died because her heart was sick.’ This is a good moment to have a conversation about death and what it means. Let your child ask the questions and don’t give them too much information. Keep it clear and stick to what they ask.
What follows is also reassuring. Neo is sad and misses Mosa, all their other friends do too. She holds their heart stones and thinks of Mosa and then she runs to join her friends, with the memory of Mosa in her heart.
This is so appropriate because children grieve differently from adults. They have a wonderful capacity to hold both joy and sorrow at the same time. Parents are often surprised by how quickly children can transition from feeling devastated to wanting to play, even when faced with the impending death of someone special. Let them move through these states naturally and don’t impose mourning on them.
Through sweet, simple moments of childhood joy, Butterfly Heart gently explores themes of friendship, loss and healing. I love the use of butterflys as a motif and a reminder that Mosa’s spirit is always around her.
Butterfly Heart opens a gentle, thoughtful path for children and adults to begin talking about death and grief together.
Also available in Afrikaans, isiZulu, isiXhosa, Setswana, Sepedi, Sesotho, Siswati and Xitsonga.
Buy Butterfly Heart at all good bookstores and here:
Meet the author
Lalu Mokuku is a multilingual storyteller, playwright, facilitator, performer and academic. Her vision is to use the arts for justice and enhancing botho (humanity). She co-wrote an award-winning play Dipalo with Ginni Manning. She is the Artistic Director of meqoqocollective_ and specialises in Applied Theatre and Theatre for Young Audiences. She has performed Butterfly Heart at festivals nationwide, including the National Arts Festival. Listen to her conversation with Corinne Rosmarin on the Book Tree Podcast here.
Mosa’s memory is always in Neo’s heart, as she goes to play with her friends.
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